Hoarding

There's a new show on A&E called "Hoarders."  If you haven't seen it, it's about people with a psychological disorder that causes them to collect things obsessively even if it's dangerous or worthless.  I could only watch half a show before turning it off.  I'm not sure if the fact I was eating lunch at the time had anything to do with it.

However, when I turned it off I reveled in the relative cleanness of my previously-thought-to-be-cluttered house.  I could see the floor!  It was dirty, but I could see it!  I have waaaay too many books, but they are all on shelves.  That said, I do have my own issue of hoarding.  And not just chocolate.

We're in the process of preparing for a garage sale in anticipation of a move across county.  Where did all this junk come from?  So helpful to find all the swim goggles now and not the countless 6:30 am mornings when we were late for a swim meet.  Actually, as I'm looking to my right at the completed sets of boxes that have been gone through and priced, I have no idea what's in them.  And I just worked on them this weekend!

I've heard the advice that if you can't decide whether to keep something or not, you should box it up.  If you haven't opened the box in six months, get rid of it without opening it back up.  I am unable to do that.  I must look again.  Even now, as I'm being as ruthless as I've ever been, I'm having a great deal of difficulty letting go of the little wooden mouse that was in our children's stockings just two, or ten, years ago.

My son brought out several boxes of things he thinks he no longer wants, and it breaks my heart to see how unsentimental he is. He doesn't what to keep his remote-controlled "Bart Simpson on a Skateboard" or his chia Homer.  Never even planted his chia Homer.  He could still get plenty of use out of it! 

As I look through the things he and his sister have discarded, I guess a little bit of it is personal, because so many of these things I bought for them.  I am a careful gift buyer -- it must be attached to a memory or something meaningful for the person I'm buying for.  Or it can be a joke gift, but it still has to have meaning, or it's just not funny.  I guess I must have bought more for my memory than theirs. 

Of course, I tend to the other direction of not wanting to get rid of enough.  It's not just the things that I have a sentimental attachment to or memory of.  And just because I haven't thought about it in years, doesn't mean I can't think about it now!  And I do!  I can use this jewelry to make some incredibly creative . . . creation that people will want!  These calendars have beautiful pictures -- there must be a great way to reuse them!  I just don't know what that is!  But I might someday!  I do draw the line at toilet paper tubes and plastic butter containers.  I try to throw out pens when they're used up (why is THAT so hard to do?).  

It may be genetic.  When my sisters and I spent a weekend several years ago cleaning out our stored "stuff" (there is no other word for it) from our parents' attic, it was clear that Mother had just boxed everything up "as is" and put it away.  We knew this because the gum wrapper chain had been carefully preserved.  I was glad to find some of my childhood books, projects from my first Vacation Bible School and my plagiarized report on Holland (don't tell Mr. Smith).    And honestly, I don't remember much else that was recovered.

Perhaps this is a time when I can learn to let go of things -- I'm already letting go of my most precious possessions for the past 20 years -- my children.  Everything else should really pale in comparison.